110th Country for my 30th: In Cambodia

Dalai Lama’s instruction in life: Once a year, go someplace you’ve never been before…. And that’s what I did – it’s my 110^th country for my 30^th birthday… in Cambodia.

Travelling to Cambodia is not difficult, but you should plan in advance what to do and what to bring. Make sure to book in advance to get cheaper hotel rates and tour discounts and pack your bags with light clothing to make it comfortable for you walking around this warm-weather country.

No one knows for certain how long people have lived in what is now Cambodia, as studies of its prehistory are underdeveloped. But let me show you around Siem Reap where we spent 4 days exploring. Siem Reap is the major tourist hub in Cambodia with a few facilities, minor surface roads and a little bit of nightlife.

The sensational ruins of Angkor may be the main attraction, Siem Reap’s exquisite temples, secluded beaches, charming villages and magical markets deserve lots of attention too. With genuine locals ready to share a sincere smile, Cambodia will steal your heart to enrich your spirit.

Places to visit in Siem Reap and a little of its history:

Angkor Wat

 Despite the so many things to do in Siem Reap, the UNESCO World Heritage Site of Angkow Wat is still the primary draw for tourists. Constructed in the 12^th century by the Khmer people some of the temples were restored and some still overgrown with jungle vines. The scale of Angkor Wat is overwhelming (so much to see) and you can choose from a 3-day, 2-day and a day pass that will only cost you $20. Guides can also be hired for $20 a day and can spaeak most major languages too.

The complex was built between 1130 and 1150 AD by King Suryavarman II and was intended to symbolize the universe as the Hindu Khmer understood it: the moat stands for the oceans around the earth; the concentric galleries represents the mountain ranges surrounding the divine Mount Meru, the Hindu home of the Gods which is itself embodied by the five central towers. The walls are covered with carvings depicting the God Vishnu (to whom Angkor was principally dedicated), as well as other scenes from the Hindu mythology.

Banteay Srei

Found inside Angkor Wat, the temple that translates to “Temple of the Women”. It illustrate scenes from the Hindu epics Ramayana and Mahabharata and is Angkor’s most beautiful temple.

Ta Phrom

It is the most popular of Angkor’s temple where the first movie of Tomb Raider was filmed. Ta Phrom became an active Buddhist monastery and university.

Angkor Thom

The Bayon and Baphuon temples form only part of what was formerly the giant city of Angkor Thom, once thought to hold a population of 1 million. You can see there th Elephant Terrace, Terrace of the Leper King, Phom Bakheng and the five entrance gates.

There's a Little Circuit where you can see Ta Phrom, Ta Keo, Banteay Kdei, Sras Srang, and Prasat Kravan.

The Big Circuit is for the Preah Khan, Neak Pean,, Ta Som, East Mebon and Pre Rup.

Meanwhile, the Rolous Group you can find the Bakong, Lolei and Preah Ko.

Lastly the Outlying Temples where Banteay Srey, Kbal Spean, Beng Melea and Phom Krom are located.

You may also try the balloon ride in Angkor Wat, an exciting way to see the massive temple complex that will cost you about $35.

Tonle Sap Lake & The Floating Village

It is the largest freshwater lake in Southeast Asia and is an ecological hot spot that was designated as a UNESCO biosphere in 1997.

Angkor National Museum

It houses thousands of artifacts recovered from Angkor Wat and the surrounding areas in an impressive building. Art, statues and a well-planned video presentations make this museum well worth the $12 entrance.

Smile of Angkor

Discover the wonder of the temples of Angkor in this grand epic show that celebrates the Angkor dynasty and is promoted by Cambodia Tourism Ministry. It is an interesting spectacle that explains the dynasty’s history from foundation to prosperity through tales to folk customs with the highest technology. The show is directed by experts in Cambodian Culture and the Fine Arts Ministry as well as the team responsible for the closing ceremony of the 2008 Olympic Games. For only $38 we were able to see the show with dinner buffet.

 Pub Street

Nightlife is right here where most of the foreigners would dine and party afterwards.

Probably, you can also try the fish spa…

Didn’t get a chance to see Phnom Penh but we were glad to visit the historical spots in Cambodia.

For my 30^th birthday, it was nothing grand just something I love to do the most – travel! It’s on my blood…..and for my next stop next month, Hello China!

A Piece of Europe in Macau

After invading Europe, Africa and the Caribbean the past few years, here I go with my Asian Invasion and this year I’m starting off with Macau on Valentine’s Day.

Join me as I take you on a day trip adventure in the so called ‘Vegas of the East’ and what I describe to be as the ‘Little Europe in Asia’.

Macau is a city of duality with its fortresses, churches and the cuisine of its former Portuguese colonial masters speak to an exceptionally Mediterranean elegance on the China coast, combined with alleys, temples and shrines. It is the only place in China where gaming and gambling is legal.

Formed by the islands of Taipa and Coloane wherein Taipa used to be an island of duck farms and boat yards decades ago and the small island of Coloane was a haven for pirates until 1910. Although luxurious villas and hotels are now built on the islands, Macau still retains its old ways of living.

Before going places in Macau, make sure to exchange your money with their local currency which is MOP or Macau Pataca in other cases they do accept Hong Kong dollars as well. ATM’s are just everywhere, especially just outside Hotel Lisboa where you’ll find half a dozen.

You might want to check the weather too or you’ll be so unprepared like me who brought some more leg warmers along the way as I wasn’t prepared of the cold freezing weather of 6 degrees Celsius on the month of February.

Despite the freezing weather, nothing can stop me from exploring this little piece of Europe in Asia. Here are the places not to miss in Macau:

St. Paul Ruins – one of Macau’;s most famous landmark which was originally built in the 17^th century, destroyed by fire in 1835 and what remains today is the façade of the Church & St Paul’s College. The façade sits on a small hill, with 66 stone steps leading up to it. The carvings have Jesuit images with Oriental themes such as a woman stepping on a seven-headed hydra, described by Chinese characters as “Holy Mother tramples the heads of the dragon”. A few other carvings are the founders of the Jesuit Order, the conquest of death by Jesus and at the very top, a dove with wings outstretched. Going here, you can take any of these bus numbers 2, 5, 10, 18, 19 & 26A.

Senado Square – Macau’s urban center for centuries and still remains to be a popular venue for celebrations as it is part of the UNESCO World Heritage Site. It is covered with a wave-patterned montage colored stones formed by the Portuguese. In 1940, there used to be a statue of a Portuguese soldier named Mesquita who was responsible for the deaths of many Chinese soldiers during the hostilities with the Qing Dynasty. There are shopping centers and traditional Chinese Restaurants around the square. Going here, you can take any bus with numbers 2, 5, 10, 18, 19 & 26A.

The Venetian Macau –  the world’s largest casino and Asia’s most thrilling entertainment destination with its lavish Italian marbled facilities, amenities and attraction. Get overwhelmed over 350 international shops and boutiques, be dazzled by the street performers, or take a ride on an authentic Venetian gondola, all found inside the resort. Complimentary Venetian Shuttle Bus to Venetian Macau from: the Airport, Gongbei Border Gate and at the Ferry Terminal.

Macau Tower – is the 10^th highest freestanding tower in the world and 8^th in Asia. Soaring 338 meters above the city, its Observation Deck dominates the skyline and offers breathtaking panoramic views of the Macau cityscape, China, the Pearl River and some islands of Hong Kong on a clear day. There is a Revolving Restaurant which seats 250 persons which takes 60 minutes to complete one revolution. If you are that adventurous person like me, don’t miss out the World’s highest bungy jump that will take you on a free fall at a speed of up to 200km/h wherein before landing into a specially designed airbag, jumper will be able to experience a few air rebounds. Going here, you can take any bus with numbers 9A, 18, 21, 23 & 32.

Kun Iam Statue – is the statue dedicated to the Goddess of Mercy. Made of special bronze, the dome shape base like a lotus flower is a center where information on Buddhism, Taoism and Confucianism are available. Going here you can take any bus with numbers 8, 12 & 17.

Wine and Grand Prix Museum – the only one of its kind in Asia where visitors can understand the cultural importance of wine in the Portuguese tradition, daily life and celebration rituals. Visitors can even taste different types of wine in their wine tasting called “Prova de Vinhos”, a matchless experience for only a small price. Meanwhile, the Grand Prix Museum displays photos, videos, articles, cups, records of champions and other commemorative items. Built in 1933 it is situated at the Tourism Activities Center on Rua Luis Gonzaga Gomes. Going here, you can take any bus with numbers 3, 10, 12, 17, 23 & 32.

City of Dreams – a must experience destination with its rare integrated resort combining stimulating amusement, an incredible array of accommodation, regional and international dining, as well as designer brand shopping. There are two theatres, the first called “The Bubble” that currently shows an immersive HD media projection entitles “The Dragons Treasure”. The second, “The Dancing Water” theater that features an in-the-round water show, the largest of its kind in the world. With The Bubble, a stunning multi-media attraction and The Boulevard, a chic lifestyle zone surrounding entertainment, restaurants and shopping boutiques.  Complimentary City of Dreams Shuttle Bus to City of Dreams from: the Airport, Macau Maritime Ferry Terminal, Taipa Temporary Ferry Terminal, Macau Lotus Bridge Check Point, and Macau Barrier Gate Check Point.

Macau Giant Panda Pavilion – nestled on the hillside at Seac Pai Van Park in Coloane in a fan-shaped layout of about 3000 m². Two viewing paths of different elevations align along the front edge which includes internal facilities such as the logistic center with panda dens, bamboo-washing and storage quarters, feed preparation room and warehouse, veterinarian clinic and others. Outside the park is a souvenir shop and some snack shops and cafes in the vicinity.

Of course what’s a trip to Macau without trying their Macanese Cuisine, a blend of Southern Chinese and Portuguese Cuisines, usually seasoned with spices such as turmeric, coconut, milk, cinnamon, and bacalhau. Famous dishes include Galinha a Portuguesa, Bacalhau, Pato De Cabidela, and Stir-Curry Crab. The Pork Chop Bun is the most popular snack and desserts such as egg tarts, ginger milk, and almond cake.

Let’s just say my 2-day stay in this little piece of Europe in Macau has been short yet sweet. Plus don't miss out my feature in Macau Magazine this March 2014.

 My 108 country for the record and still counting ‘coz a lot of countries is yet to be unraveled by your Globetrotter, Rheens.

As often as possible, while you’re young, go some place you’ve never been before. Experience new places and new things. You might find yourself with someone or somewhere that makes you much happier than your previous circumstance. The Earth is so vast with unique and beautiful places, why wouldn’t you want to go explore them?

Life Lessons from Peter Drucker: Being Miss Independent & Miss Unstoppable

Peter F. Drucker (1909~2005) was one of the great thought leaders of our time, the man who coined the term knowledge worker, and is widely considered the father of modern management. His writings are so profound that now, one hundred years after his birth, he has a huge global following of people who want to understand and employ his principles for living. 

Drucker stressed on making the most of your leisure time, and of becoming a master or at least an amateur expert at something outside of your work. His vision for a fulfilled life included exercise, time for reading and thinking, teaching and learning, community involvement, time to create a legacy. 

Drucker embodied the importance of creating and living a “total life” with diverse interests, relationships, and pursuits; what he called “living in more than one world.” The idea is that when you have a setback in one area—suffering or surviving a layoff, for instance—you can soften the blow by developing other areas of strength and support. You can also add new meaning and dimensions to your life and, by getting involved with activities such as volunteer work, make a difference in the lives of others. 

The question is HOW DO YOU CREATE A TOTAL LIFE? Consider the following five key elements as exemplified by Drucker himself: 

1. Practicing self-development 
Self-development is a major theme throughout Drucker's writings and teachings. “What matters,” he said, “is that the knowledge worker, by the time he or she reaches middle age, has developed and nourished a human being rather than a tax accountant or a hydraulic engineer.” Think about your life, both as it is now and where you'd like to be. Consider not just your work, but also your family, friends, interests, activities, and pursuits. Assess what's working, what's not, and what you might want to add or subtract to create more satisfaction and fulfillment. 

By the age of 29, I have realized that although I graduated with a degree in Sports Therapy, I’m better of as a TV News and Sportscaster at the same time a Fashion Entrepreneur (which started out as a hobby for me). I realized that because of my petite size and being a female, I will not appeal as a Sports Therapist hence, I found something more exciting for me to do.

2. Identifying and developing your unique strengths The concept of core competencies may have been created for organizations, but today it applies to individuals as well. Drucker urged people to consciously articulate their own strengths. Consider what's unique about what you do, and in what areas you excel and contribute the most, both at work and outside of work. Focus on those strengths—your own core competencies—and find new ways to value and cultivate them. Odds are you can apply them to a variety of jobs, volunteer positions, and more. 

It was to my advantage that by the time I was still in college I became a TV Sportscaster (at the age of 19). Clearly it honed my skills in public relation and communications at the same time an area where I can flaunt my knowledge in Sports Injuries and Management while court side reporting. It was an honor for me to be chosen as the first TV Sportscaster without having to be a major in mass communications (thanks to the people from ABS CBN Sports, GMA NewsTV and UNTV who continuously gives me the opportunity to grow in this field). 

3. Creating a parallel or second career 
Drucker said, “The purpose of the work on making the future is not to decide what should be done tomorrow, but what should be done today to have a tomorrow.” One unique idea he advocated was creating a “parallel career” in areas such as teaching, writing, or working in nonprofit organizations. He also encouraged developing a second career, often by doing similar work in a significantly different setting—a lawyer, for instance, might move from a traditional law firm to a legal nonprofit dedicated to a personally meaningful cause. While still in your main job, start thinking about your own possibilities for a parallel or second career. Consider how to match your values, experience, and education, and what shifts you might need to make in your life to support such changes. 

After 10 years of being a TV Sportscaster and an Events Host, another opportunity came knocking on my door that paved way to the start of my first TV News Casting by the time I was 29. Undeniably, it was another adjustment from sports to news that motivated me to be well versed with what’s going on in the local and international field. It was a lucky break indeed and in between those years, I started a small business in the fashion industry just because it was something that I love to do… and perhaps passion for fashion was something innate in me. Aside from that, I had to feed myself with my love for travel…the very reason why I was urged to travel and experience the world (107 countries and still counting by the age of 29) and the main reason why I’m doing all these travel blogs (and blogs of all sorts).

4. Exercising your generosity 
An essential part of living in more than one world, Drucker believed, is displaying a sense of generosity. Here, he said, “…everybody is a leader, everybody is responsible, everybody acts.” Sharing your time and talents by getting involved in volunteerism, social entrepreneurship, and mentoring not only provide opportunities to contribute, but also offer personal benefits, from broadening and deepening your life experience to expanding your circle of friends and colleagues. Think about what happens outside your workplace—in other industries, professions, and walks of life—and consider ways you can exercise your own generosity. 

Well, I guess these travel blogs and other blogs that I’m doing says a lot of this c”,) Through my work in the media, fashion and travel industry I’m able to share and inspire people to pursue their dreams (not just one but as many as they can accomplish). If I were to describe myself, I’m proud to be Ms. Independent and Ms. Unstoppable (something that I have always been proud of).

5. Teaching and learning 
Education plays a key role in Drucker's vision of a strong, functioning society. He believed that knowledge workers should never stop learning. However, it's up to them, he said, to incorporate continuous learning as a natural part of daily life— deciding what and how they'd like to learn and determining how they'll build in the time. Consider your own priorities for learning, as well as how you learn best—taking classes, reading articles and books, asking or observing others, etc. You might also want to teach. As Drucker acknowledged, “No one learns as much as the person who must teach his subject.” 

As my philosophy in life goes: Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

If there’s anything more rewarding in life that is to keep challenging yourself to pursue all your dreams and Living a Total Life! 

And at this point, I dare you…. c”,)

A Cruise to Saint Lucia in the Caribbean!

Let’s set sail to one of Caribbean’s pride, Saint Lucia!

Saint Lucia is a sovereign island country in the eastern Caribbean Sea on the borderline with the Atlantic Ocean. Part of the Lesser Antilles, it is located north/northeast of the island of Saint Vincent, northwest of Barbados and south of Martinique. Its capital is Castries.

Known as one of the Windward Islands, Saint Lucia was named after Saint Lucy of Syracuse by the French, the island's earliest European colonizers. They signed a treaty with the native Carib people in 1660. Britain took control of the island from 1663 to 1667; in ensuing years, it was at war with France 14 times and rule of the island changed frequently (it was seven times each ruled by the French and British). In 1814, the British took definitive control of the island. Because it switched so often between British and French control, Saint Lucia was also known as the "Helen of the West Indies".

Tourism is essential to Saint Lucia's economy and is popular due to its tropical weather and scenery and its numerous beaches and resorts.

Some tourist attractions include a drive-in volcano, Sulphur Springs (in Soufrière), the Botanical Gardens, the Majestic twin Peaks "The Pitons", a world heritage site, the rain forests, and Pigeon Island National Park, which is home to Fort Rodney, an old British military base.

Did you know that most tourist prefers a visit to Saint Lucia by cruising along the Castries, Soufriere, Marigot Bay and Gros Islet.

Many visitors to St. Lucia get their first glimpse of the island from the decks of cruise ships.  Sailing along the island’s southwest coast line, they are fascinated by the beauty of the Pitons, whose twin mountain peaks rise almost a half-mile right out of the ocean.  Surrounded by a wilderness of tropical plants, it’s easy to see why St. Lucia has earned the nickname “Helen of the West Indies.”  Most cruise liners anchor in Place Carenage or Pointe Seraphine and both are within walking distance of St. Lucia’s capital city, Castries.  

While the area is easy to navigate on foot, by bus, taxi or renting a car, it can take an hour or more to drive from Castries to the Pitons.  This is why many opt for an extended day charter to the Pitons with Binti (a 43 foot catamaran boat) for sailing that’s smoother and faster than a bumpy bus on curvy roads.

Aside from a more comfortable and scenic ride, a charter to the Pitons with Binti lets you see Castries, the Pitons and any of the island’s beaches and snorkeling sites in between at your own pace.  If you’re in search of duty-free merchandise and handicrafts, Castries is the perfect shopping destination.  For more than 100 years vendors have gathered at Castries Market and Craft Market offering reasonably priced fresh fruits and vegetables, spices, baskets, wood carvings, pottery and hand-screened clothing.

But if you’d rather spend more time seeing the Pitons, the best way to see the peaks is from the water.  And a charter to the Pitons with Binti gives you a front row seat.  Much of St. Lucia has largely remained unspoiled because of the locals’ commitment to protecting its rain forests and other natural resources.  In fact, nearly 19,000 acres is protected as part of the St. Lucia National Rain Forest.  Nestled between the twin peaks is Anse des Pitons, a fantastic place for snorkeling and diving.  Other spectacular snorkeling sites include Anse Cochon and Anse Chastanet.  At Anse Cochon you’ll see an old sunken ship but amazing reefs and colorful marine life abound at all three locations.

Just outside Castries, Choc Beach offers a beautiful stretch of white sand but if you’re in the mood for more adventure, the white sand beaches at Pigeon Island have water sports, a restaurant and historical museum.  Pigeon Island is a great place for families to visit to learn the history of the island at the Museum and Interpretive Centre.  Here the former British officers’ mess building, barracks and garrisons where French and English once fought for control of St. Lucia have been restored to the way they would have appeared in 1808.  Your family can stay for as long or as little as you like on a charter to the Pitons with Binti.

A charter to the Pitons with Binti gives you the best views of the Pitons.  You can view the twin peaks over lunch in Binti’s Salon or ashore at Dasheene Restaurant.  Or, you can view the Pitons while tanning on one of the island’s majestic white-sand beaches.  Any way you cut it a charter to the Pitons with Binti is the best way to see and experience the Pitons and St. Lucia.


Rising precipitously from the cobalt-blue Caribbean Sea just south of Soufriere Bay, these two unusual mountains are the symbol of St. Lucia and also a UNESCO World Heritage Site. Covered with thick tropical vegetation, the massive outcroppings were formed by lava from a volcanic eruption 30 to 40 million years ago. They are not identical twins since—confusingly, 2,619-foot Petit Piton is taller than 2,461-foot Gros Piton; Gros Piton is, as the word translates, broader. It's possible to climb the Pitons, but it's a strenuous trip. Gros Piton is the easier climb, though the trail up even this one is still very tough. Either climb requires the permission of the Forest & Lands Department and the use of a knowledgeable guide.

Saint Lucian cultural festivals include La Rose and La Marguerite, the first representing a native Saint Lucian fraternal society known as the Order of the Rose that is fashioned in the mould of Rosicrucianism, and the second representing its traditional rival, the native Saint Lucian equivalent of Freemasonry known as the Order of the Marguerite.[16] References to their origins as versions of pre-existing external secret societies can be seen in a mural painted by Dunstan St Omer, depicting the holy trinity of Osiris, Horus and Isis.

The biggest festival of the year is the Saint Lucia Jazz Festival. Held in early May at multiple venues throughout the island, it draws visitors and musicians from around the world. The grand finale is held at the Pigeon Island (Saint Lucia) which is located to the North of the Island.

Speaking of the Pigeon Island, don’t miss out a hike all the way to the top of Fort Rodney considered as a National Park in Saint Lucia.

This rugged 40 acre national park offers the hiker a pleasant walk through woodlands and military ruins, and a chance to climb to the island’s highest point—330 foot Signal Peak. Fort Rodney and Signal Peak are the two most noticeable features of Pigeon Island National Park—the two peaks rise hundreds of feet above sea level, affording spectacular panoramic views of the island. Conveniently, Fort Rodney and Signal Peak are joined by a saddle allowing the hiker to climb both hills with little effort. A marked trail leads right to the top of 225 foot Fort Rodney, where you can see remains of the military installation, including a powder hold and two cannons. The tour begins amid the stone ruins, which include the old Officer’s Kitchen and soldiers’ barracks. The main path, as it winds upward to the southern peak, leads to Fort Rodney, which was constructed in 1778. The broad path is easily accessible, except for the last hundred feet, where a moderate climb is required. Once on top, take a moment to savor the incredible views. For those willing to endure hiking a little further, Signal Peak offers more of a challenge—this trek is more strenuous as it climbs up the steep rocks, but the amazing views from the top are worth the effort. It’s easy to understand why the peak was designated as Admiral Rodney’s main lookout post—the perspective affords excellent views of the inland mountains, the turquoise waters and sandy bays, and the island of Martinique to the north.

The Human Metamorphosis: Fly High!

I used to imagine I knew how some caterpillars become butterflies. I assumed they weave cocoons, sit inside their growing six long legs, four wings, and so on. I figured if I were to cut open a cocoon, I'd find a butterfly-ish caterpillar, or a caterpillar-ish butterfly, depending on how far things had developed. I was wrong. In fact, the first thing caterpillars do in their cocoons is shed their skin, leaving a soft, rubbery chrysalis.

If you've ever been through a major life transition, this may sound familiar. Humans do it, too—not physically but psychologically. All of us will undergo metamorphosis several times during our lives, exchanging one identity to another. You’ve already changed from baby to child to adolescent to adult—obvious, well-known stages in the life cycle. But even after you're all grown up, your identity isn't fixed. You may change marital status, become a parent, switch careers, get sick, or even transform to another gender.

Any transition serious enough to alter your definition of self will require not just small adjustments in your way of living and thinking but a full-on metamorphosis. I don't know if this is emotionally stressful for caterpillars, but for humans it can be hell on wheels. The best way to lessen its distress is to understand the process.

Psychological metamorphosis has four phases. You'll go through these phases, more or less in order, after any major change catalyst (falling in love or breaking up, getting or losing a job, having children, etc.). The tactics for dealing with change depend on the phase you're experiencing. 

Phase 1: Dissolving

The first phase of change is the scariest, particularly since we aren't trained to expect it. It's the point when we drop our identity and are left temporarily formless: person soup. Most people wrestle like crazy to keep their identities from dissolving….The phase when we feel like running into a flurry of "dissolving" experiences. We may feel that everything is falling apart, that we're losing everyone and everything. Dissolving feels like death, because it is—it's the ruin of the person you've been.

When we're dissolving we may get out of control, fight our feelings, try to evoke our former lives, or jump immediately toward some new status quo ("rebound romance" is a classic example). All these measures actually slow down Phase One and make it more painful. Hence, it is better to:

In Phase 1, Live One Day (or 10 minutes) at a Time 

Instead of dwelling on hopes and fears about an unknowable future, focus your attention on whatever is happening right now. 

"Cocoon" by Caring For Yourself in Physical, Immediate Ways 

Wrap yourself in a blanket, make yourself a cup of hot tea, attend an exercise class, whatever feels comforting. 

Talk to Others Who Have Gone Through a Metamorphosis 

If you don't have a wise relative or friend, a therapist can be a source of reassurance. 

Let Yourself Grieve 

Even if you are leaving an unpleasant situation (a bad marriage, a job you didn't like), you'll probably go through the normal human response to any loss: the emotional roller coaster called the grieving process. You'll cycle through denial, anger, sadness, and acceptance many times. Just experiencing these feelings will help them pass more quickly. 

If you think this sounds frustratingly passive, you're right. Dissolving isn't something you do; it's something that happens to you. The closest you'll come to controlling it is relaxing and trusting the process.

Phase 2: Imagining

For those of us who have just a few tiny control issues, Phase 2 is as welcome as rain after drought. This is when the part of you that knows your destiny, the imago in your psyche, will begin giving you instructions about how to reorganize the remnants of your old self into something altogether different. 

You'll know you're beginning Phase 2 when your mind's eye starts considering images of the life you are about to create. These can't be forced—like dissolving, they happen to you—and they are never what you expected. You're becoming a new person, and you'll develop traits and interests your old self didn't have. You may feel compelled to change your hairstyle or wardrobe, or redecorate your living space. The old order simply seems wrong, and you'll begin restructuring your outer situation to reflect your inner rebirth.

Here are some ways you may want to respond when you begin spontaneously imagining the future: 

Cut Out Magazine Pictures You Find Appealing or Interesting 

Glue them onto a piece of butcher paper. The resulting collage will be an illustration of the life you're trying to create. 

Let Yourself Daydream 

Your job is to try out imaginary scenarios until you have a clear picture of your goals and desires. You'll save a lot of time, effort, and grief by giving yourself time to do this in your head before you attempt it in the real world. 

Phase 2 is all about images: making them up, making them clear and making them possible. Moving through this stage, you'll start to feel an impulse to go from dreaming (imagining possibilities) to scheming (planning to bring your vision to fruition). Write down both dreams and schemes and gather information about how you might create them. 

Phase 3: Re-forming

As your dreams become schemes, you'll begin itching to make them come true. This signals Phase 3, the implementation stage of the change process. Phase 3 is when you stop fantasizing about selling your art and start submitting work to galleries, or go beyond ogling a friend's brother to having her set you up on a date. You'll feel motivated to do real, physical things to build a new life. And then...(drum roll, please)...you'll fail. Repeatedly.

I've gone through Phase 3 many times and watched a few friends do the same. I've never seen a significant scheme succeed on the first try. Re-forming your life, like anything new, complex, and important, inevitably brings up problems you didn't expect. That's why, in contrast to the starry eyes that are so useful in Phase 2, Phase 3 demands the ingenuity of Thomas Edison and the tenacity of a pit bull.

Expect Things To Go Wrong 

Many of my friends have an early failure and consider this a sign that "it just wasn't meant to be." This is a useful philosophy if you want to spend your life as person soup. To become all that you can be, you must keep working toward your dreams even when your initial efforts are unsuccessful. 

Be Willing to Start Over 

Every time your plans fail, you'll briefly return to Phase 1, feeling lost and confused. This is an opportunity to release some of the illusions that created hitches in your plan. 

Revisit Phase 2 

Adjusting your dreams and schemes to include the truths you've learned from your experimentation. 

Persist 

Keep debugging and reimplementing your new-and-improved plans until they work. If you've followed all the steps above, they eventually will. 

Phase 4: Flying

Phase 3 is like crawling out of your cocoon and waiting for your crumpled, soggy wings to dry and expand. Phase 4 is the payoff, the time when your new identity is fully formed and able to fly.

The following strategies—which can help you optimize this wonderful situation—are about fine-tuning, not drastic transformation. 

Enjoy! 

You've just negotiated a scary and dramatic transformation, and you deserve to savor your new identity. Spend time every day focusing on gratitude for your success. 

Make Small Improvements 

Find little ways to make your new life a bit less stressful, a bit more pleasurable. 

Know That Another Change is Just Around the Bend 

There's no way to predict how long you'll stay in Phase 4; maybe days, maybe decades. Don't attribute your happiness to your new identity; security lies in knowing how to deal with metamorphosis, whenever it occurs.